How often is the male the victim in domestic violence cases – and how concerned should we be?

For men in an abusive relationship, it is important to understand that they are not alone. Men are abused at an exceedingly high rate. It is the same story in heterosexual and homosexual relationships.

Irrespective of the culture from which a man belongs, he is abused. Male abuse rates stay more or less the same. A few of the people find it hard to believe that one in three victims of domestic violence is men.

Another related trend is that men frequently refrain from reporting the incidents. They are embarrassed and feel that people may choose to not believe them. In some cases, men do not report the cases because they feel that their partner will take revenge over them.

Hence, when one comes across a case of domestic violence against men, one should heed to the matter with the utmost sensitivity. One should take care that one does not take the situation lightly. This is a commonplace occurrence. It is just that the awareness about such incidents is more towards the lower side.

Instead, people believe that victims of domestic violence are always women. This is far from reality. Men are equally vulnerable. Their cases should also be heard and understood with the same degree of sensitivity.

Men are victimized in different ways

The ways in which men are victimized include being hit, kicked, and punched, spat at, things being thrown at the individual, or harming one’s possessions.

Sometimes, the attacker attempts to nullify the difference in strength. He or she may attack a man while he is asleep. There are cases wherein guns and knives are used. At times, the attacker threatens to harm the victim’s loved ones.

Men are affected by not just physical violence. Emotional and verbal abuses affect their psyche as well. It is only right for a third party to make sure that cases of violence against men are not taken lightly.

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Power and Money: How domestic abusers use money to control their victims

As a kid, you used to be granted an allowance. But getting an allowance from your partner as an adult could be odd in some cases. The latter may not always induce joy and excitement. Alternately, it may involve feelings such as frustration and confinement. One may even become resentful.

There are cases wherein a domestic abuser uses money in order to control the victims. They provide sufficient to source necessities in some cases. In other cases, they don’t. There are even times when a partner may check receipts in order to figure out the debits.

In relationships, money generally comes by as a stressful factor. It becomes even more prominent in case the bills need to be paid, or when one begins to save for the future. Money could then be a source of conflict.

If we consider healthy relationships, each of the partners have requisite say in decision making. This encompasses money matters as well.

In any relationship wherein physical or emotional abuse is involved to any extent, an abusive partner is likely to extend his control over to finances. This initiates at a basic level, wherein one partners suggests what the other can or cannot buy. It may alternately be more serious, wherein an abuser restricts his partner’s access to bank accounts. Another format of financial abuse is confiscation or joint tax returns.

Similarly, it is not right to forbid a partner from working, or limiting the number of hours of work. A form of financial abuse is to use a partner’s credit card without permission and not paying credit bills. A partner must also not take money from children’s savings account without his/her partner’s permission.

Living at a partner’s residence but refusing to work or make any contribution to the household is also a financial abuse. Another format is denial to give medication, gas, clothing, food or money. Financial abuse in each form must be countered in an enlightened way.

Figuring out an independent future is difficult in the event wherein an abusive partner controls the finances. But one must not be denied access to the money one earns.

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5 Signs you are in an abusive relationship

It is difficult to identify when one is in an abusive relationship. People have a clear image in their minds of what domestic violence is. Mentally and emotionally abusive relationships are hence difficult to identify.

Characteristically, one must trust one’s intuition over the matter. But never underestimate the degree of emotional abuse that you are subject to. Let us take a look at the 5 signs of abusive relationships:

  1. Justifying your partner all the time

Do you find yourself spending a whole lot of time justifying your partner’s behavior before others? Do you tell things are not as bad as they seem? Are you subject to misconduct every now and then? Do you have to exaggerate over your partner’s qualities for a better understanding? This implies that your relationship is abusive.

  • A moody partner

Do you frequently walk on eggshells? Is your partner moody? Is it your fault all the time? Does overstepping a mark provoke your partner? If you iteratively get things wrong, your relationship is in troubled waters. This is because in a relationship, we all deserve appreciation.

  • Never on priority

Is your life on hold? Do you attempt to please your partner all the time? This makes your partner’s feelings more important than your own. Do you never have the priority? You may have a problem at hand.

  • Over-dependence upon the partner

Does your partner highlight your inadequacies iteratively? Incessantly transmission of ideas turns them into a belief. Then, people start disliking themselves, which is not good. Don’t rely on your relationship.

  • Do you no longer dream

Are you no longer the woman you once used to be? Have you quit laughing? Do you avoid friends to avoid an in-depth overview into the situation? Does it lead to anxiety? Have you come down to substance abuse? Depressed at all times, or drained and empty? A woman must never stop dreaming.

These five signs are indicative of an abusive relationship. They leave a mark over the emotional health. A life must necessarily be joyful and you should get help by speaking to someone.

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Women as the perpetrators of domestic violence: a real problem to be considered?

Men make up as much as 40% of victims of domestic violence. They are the victims of 40% assaults, which are conducted by women.

Men have a tougher deal as compared to women for finding support for their condition. Even the police tend to ignore them. When injured by assaults, women have refuges to go to. There are no such refuges for men.

We must recognize that men too are as vulnerable as women for being victims of domestic violence. Percentage of men victimized by domestic violence frequently stays close to 40% of domestic violence victims each year. The percentage characteristically varies by up to 3% around the median value, for yearly data, year after year.

If we take more serious injuries into consideration, the number of men who are victimized is higher. Over 48% of domestic violence victims who were seriously injured in assaults were men for the year 2006-07.

Going by a 2008-09 bulletin, 28% of women and 16% of men are victimized by domestic violence following the age of 16.

Plight of men needs to be looked into in this regard. They are not considered to be vulnerable, their cases are not given due attention and they are treated as though they are second-class victims.

Moreover, men are more reluctant to narrate the incidents. Police is unlikely to go by a man’s story and take his side.

Even the media does not give them the requisite degree of attention. Upon being victimized by domestic violence, they may not have a place to go as the numbers of refuges for men are negligible, as compared to those for women.

The tricky part is that we can never be sure of the numbers of victims, as men are reluctant to report cases. Being abused by women comes by as a sign of weakness, whereas men are associated with chivalry and machismo. This puts pressure over men to pretend that things are okay, when they are not.

Story for each victim for domestic violence must be seen as a unique use-case, and treated accordingly. It is sad that men are not considered victims of domestic violence, even when they may actually be so. A nose job Australia gives your features a new lease of life, recreates youth and invites compliments.

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Where to reach out to when you are the victim of domestic violence

Domestic violence does not necessarily refer to the violence that occurs within a home or family. It can take place in the event a person close to the victim exercises power and control over him.

The abuse can be categorized in different ways:

Physical abuse

When an individual hurts you physically or threatens to hurt you, a pet or a loved one, you should take action.

Emotional abuse

Emotional abuse, while hurtful often goes unrecognized. Emotionally abusive people tend to harm the feeling of independence and self-worth.

Economic abuse

If you have to ask for money from someone, and if someone else controls your finances, this is domestic abuse.

Social abuse

Social abuse comprises of insulting or humiliating a person before other people, exercising control over his actions or keeping one away from his family and friends.

Spiritual abuse

Spiritual abuse is preventing an individual from having his own values, cultural beliefs or religion. It also involves making one feel powerless by manipulating his thoughts on spirituality.

Keeping oneself safe against domestic abuse:

Abusers frequently attempt to downplay the seriousness of their actions. This makes the victim underestimate the extent of danger he is in. If one is being abused, it is important to safeguard oneself against harm. If you are not sure about your safety, discuss with someone. You may speak to a youth worker, a counselor or a friend.

If you are still unsure, talk to the police. They job is to protect you from abuse. Alternately call up the state or territory support lines. You can discuss the risks in your life with them.

Have faith in yourself. It is never okay for someone to hurt you or make threats to hurt you. See if you can remove yourself from the location. One must know his rights. Refer to a legal website. Laws vary from one place to another.

If you need to find a place to go, you can go to a refuge. A refuge would offer emotional support and practical help. One can also go to a family or a friend if things are tough. If needed, one can get legal support.

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